Couples Coaching - Anya Hollis
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Photo: Flickr/ Gary Wilmore

Photo: Flickr/ Gary Wilmore

In 2009 I was at the peak of my life. Well, what was the peak at that time. I had a decent job, making +60k per year. My husband and I had just bought our dream home and I had just finished my Master’s Degree.

   I like everybody else believed the all American Dream. Go to school, work hard, get a good job and live happily ever after. Well nobody really told me how to attain the happily ever after. I became bored with my career, my neighborhood changed for the worst, and the housing market was on a decline. To top it all of, my marriage became shaky. I knew at that time that I wanted to do something different with my life.

I had to save my marriage, there was no other way. I had set out to be the perfect wife in the lifelong marriage. Well, my husband was going through similar things at work. He hated his job and was being overlooked for promotions needless to say our love life was in a slump.

It was neither of our faults, more so than it was the fault of us not being prepared for the life hurdles thrown at us. I took it upon myself to add something else to my already full plate. I felt it was my duty as the wife because that’s what society had me and my husband believe: It is the wife’s duty to save the marriage.

I began reading all kinds of books,  I started out with erotic fiction, and tried some of the things I read, we tried watching porn together, going to the toy stores and spending hundreds on toys and costumes. I spent, even more, money on sex books. I got current books, ancient books, books on orgasm, felatio, cunnilingus, Kama Sutra and I even took felatio classes.

I watched every episode of real sex, I learned how to give massages. One thing was missing, my husband’s participation in trying to make it work. I had to always have the ideas, do the research and initiate the act. Needless to say, I became bored and frustrated. I felt unappreciated and overworked. I began to resent my husband and I shut down sexually. FullSizeRender

I was in my own depression. I did t realize it at first, but after many years of thinking and analyzing my life I know and understand what I was going through at the time. I decided right then that I would put my expensive degrees to work for myself and began writing a novel.

I felt that my expertise and acquired knowledge coupled with my imagination would make interesting stories. Well at the time I was a teacher and the students got hold of my adult novel. I was investigated and fired. They said it seemed like it was child abuse.

My spirit was crushed. I stopped writing at that moment. My lifelong dream had been shattered. I was desperate for money and believed in anyone who said they could help me get rich. After several lies and thousands of dollars later, I realized that the only person that could change my life was me.

I took a two-year hiatus from teaching then went back. The school was different. The children were better and I loved my bosses more than anything in the world. It was ok, yet I still wasn’t fulfilled. Then the policy of standards-based teaching came in and we were required to basically teach to the test.

I hated this policy! It was unethical and I wanted out as fast as possible. I went back to writing. I finished my first novel in two months over summer vacation. I began the summer with that as my goal and finished on a Sunday night, the day before school was set to start.

I had the most fun of my life writing that novel. I would let my friends and family read snippets of the book and would always get great reviews and encouragement. Then once we were alone they would always want me to tell them some things they could do to help with their bedroom lives. I mean everyone wants to save their marriage/relationship right?

So I discreetly began sharing what I learned in the books with my friends. I would change little by little and create my own way of doing things. I recommended toys, games, exercises and often made trips to the stores with my family and friends to point out and explain things. I took pleasure in this. It was fun to help and educate. I guess it’s the teacher in me.

Well, why not teach something I am passionate about. I love to see happy couples, and I love to see both men and women make pleasing their partners their number one goal in love sport. I loved helping women and men to explore their own sexuality and to let them know it’s ok to be naughty with their partners.

In my own way, I had become the go-to person for relationships and sex among everyone. My open mind and non-restricted thoughts allowed me to listen and help everyone. I am now offering my services to you.